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Sex-accessories you’ve never heard of

September 16th, 2011

sex toys for happy couplesUsing sex toys can be really fun for men and women, and there is a huge market for these. All you have to do is search the words “sex toys” on the Internet and thousands of sites appear for you to choose from. There are surprisingly many varieties of such toys. On one shopping trawl, I found a few that can only be described with one word – “weird”. Here they are:

1.      Erectile quality monitor – An erectile quality monitor is the best way to piss off your man. Just think about it! Some mad scientist spent hours making a device that can measure just how big a man’s erection can be! All you have to do is press the device against his erection and watch the color coded result. Blue is great, red is ‘not tonight, honey, I have a headache!’ How humiliating for a man if his erection does not pass muster!

2.      Spa treatments for your vagina - I spent an hour laughing on this one. The “I LOVE MY MUFF” spa kit comes with beauty products to spiffy up your love fluff. They even have two kinds of spa kits to soothe and then to invigorate your old aching vagina. They even have a special wash bottle that is made of jelly and honey washes. I love the idea but I’m grossed out by the process.

3.      Vibrating bikinis - I do agree that a good vibrator can give hours of pleasure. But what do I do with a vibrating bikini? And this one comes with a hidden pouch for a vibe in the skimpy panties! Do I want to walk around the beach with a vibrator in my bikini bottoms? Isn’t anyone going to notice the lump in my bum?

4.      Recycled Dildos - Eeeew! A battery free, recycled dildo is not going to find many takers, no matter how good it’s for the environment. Oh, yes you have to wind the freaking thing for ten minutes to get the thing going!

Sex toys have to be useful and enjoyable. But these few items seem to be something that only a select few would enjoy. But they are well worth a laugh!

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