Using sex toys can be really fun for men and women, and there is a huge market for these. All you have to do is search the words “sex toys” on the Internet and thousands of sites appear for you to choose from. There are surprisingly many varieties of such toys. On one shopping trawl, I found a few that can only be described with one word – “weird”. Here they are:
1. Erectile quality monitor – An erectile quality monitor is the best way to piss off your man. Just think about it! Some mad scientist spent hours making a device that can measure just how big a man’s erection can be! All you have to do is press the device against his erection and watch the color coded result. Blue is great, red is ‘not tonight, honey, I have a headache!’ How humiliating for a man if his erection does not pass muster!
2. Spa treatments for your vagina - I spent an hour laughing on this one. The “I LOVE MY MUFF” spa kit comes with beauty products to spiffy up your love fluff. They even have two kinds of spa kits to soothe and then to invigorate your old aching vagina. They even have a special wash bottle that is made of jelly and honey washes. I love the idea but I’m grossed out by the process.
3. Vibrating bikinis - I do agree that a good vibrator can give hours of pleasure. But what do I do with a vibrating bikini? And this one comes with a hidden pouch for a vibe in the skimpy panties! Do I want to walk around the beach with a vibrator in my bikini bottoms? Isn’t anyone going to notice the lump in my bum?
4. Recycled Dildos - Eeeew! A battery free, recycled dildo is not going to find many takers, no matter how good it’s for the environment. Oh, yes you have to wind the freaking thing for ten minutes to get the thing going!
Sex toys have to be useful and enjoyable. But these few items seem to be something that only a select few would enjoy. But they are well worth a laugh!
You really like this new guy and he seems to like you too. And tonight is the night to get down to it. But you are uncomfortable and slightly queasy. Excited yes, but nervous nonetheless! Revealing your thunder thighs, cellulite and bumps and bulges is not easy when you are getting down for the first time with a new guy. So here are a few tips to help you out.
- Spa it up - Spend an entire day at the spa. Believe me, the simple pampering that the spa personnel carry out is more than enough to boost your energy levels. A skin polish and a body wrap are great to lessen cellulite and thunder thighs. Remember to get a facial done too, along with a complete hair removal. This might seem like over the top, but these simple steps will boost your confidence and when you feel good, you look good, you feel like a sex goddess ready for anything.
- Set the mood in your home - Having sex for the first time with a new guy will be more comfortable at your own place. Set the mood with romantic candles and flowers and fresh sheets so that you feel more in control. Use mood lighting like dimmed lights and low shades on your lamps to mute the light in the room. This will create dim golden lighting that will show off any kind of body in a favorable light.
- Tried and Tested Positions – Stick to positions that are familiar and guaranteed to get the most pleasure. That means try the missionary or doggie style poses and nothing too complicated. First time sex is already awkward with a new guy, complicated moves may disappoint you and your man when they don’t pan out.
Be sure to praise everything he does. Male egos can be fragile and it’s just as awkward for him as it is for you. Encouraging each other and enjoying the simple moves can be the most wonderful part of first time sex.
Sometimes, we’re just not in the mood for sex and an orgasm is just not going to happen. And its not anyone’s fault! But a few kinds of men will just not stop banging away till they are sure that we’ve climaxed. The only way to get them to stop is by faking an orgasm. We’ve all been there and faked an orgasm already just so that we can go ahead and have a few winks of sleep, but a few more tips will definitely help.
Overacting kills - Don’t overact. You already know how you feel like when you orgasm. Remember the different stages and stick to them. To be better prepared, just innocently ask your partner how you behave when you climax and remember the moves in the same sequence. Overdoing it can actually be caught by your male partner and that is not good for his delicate ego at all!
Limited sound effects are great - Start off with moaning and writhing but not so much that they scare him off. A few “oohs” and “aahs” are good. Try repeating his name twice or thrice to boost his ego. Most of the time you can also make out when he is going to climax, so coordinate your moans according to the pitch as he does.
Contract your muscles - In a typical climax; the vaginal muscle walls grip the penis tightly in an involuntary milking move. You can mimic the same moves voluntarily but remember to coordinate it with simultaneous toe curling and fingers clutching.
A few warnings
- If you have been consistently faking an orgasm with a spouse or a long time partner, please take a step back and think about it. Isn’t it better to let them know that you aren’t getting the same satisfaction as him? Remedy the problem right away or you could end up getting bitter about an unsatisfactory love life when you could be having real fun together
- Men can fake orgasms too if they are wearing a condom and this might indicate another problem. Either he is cheating or he isn’t that into you or something else!
Either way faking orgasms is not honest and can mislead your partner. Sit down and talk it out. Don’t waste a perfectly good sex session by faking it.