It is a sad world we live in when the most popular news clip last week in the UK tabloid The Daily Star was :-
• MAN WITH WORLD’S LARGEST PENIS STOPPED BY AIRPORT SECURITY
The dichotomy revolving around this warped interest in this jerk is that he may well have the biggest phallus in the world. Which might be of some interest if he used it, but the owner Jonah Falcon uses it for two reasons it is married to his own ‘Mrs Fist’ and for the standard biological function urinating. Unexpectedly it’s primary purpose in life say as a ‘Fornicating Piledriver’ no such luck his Raison d’être is ownership of a ‘Lazy Penis’
However gossip abounds about this tool of a man! The story going on the unofficial grapevine is that Jonah Falcon has been seen in London recently with a twenties honey that came off of a council housing estate in north London. Nothing wrong with that by the way, but she is said to be an avid reader and was perusing ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ by E.L. James when she met with the big dicked Jonah Falcon.
Fast forward two days into the friendship they were enjoying some ‘Quality Time’ relaxing in a hotel in Piccadilly. They were in the guest room and the girl was complete with ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ by E.L. James when she became horny and started to unzip Jonah Falcon’s manhood! An unwelcome surprise was afoot as usual it was addressing the floor hung down like a ‘Lazy Penis’ The girl was in shock and cried out – quote – ‘I want 12 inches’ at which point Jonah Falcon pulled out ’10 Inch Blue Tornado Vibrator’ a buzzing vibrator he had just bought at Ann Summers to compensate for his redundant ‘Lazy Penis’
Not sure the readers need to know more, suffice to say the ’10 Inch Blue Tornado Vibrator’ did the job as Vaginal Secretions and jism cascaded all over the lush carpet in the hotel guest room.
Before we publish the name of the girl, we need to be cock sure we are right, hence we are in the process of validating and confirming the storyline, we believe it could be true!
All UK Women do is Moan about 50 Shades of Grey Causing Vaginal Secretions!…
Lazy Penis – meaning – a penis which cannot be bothered to get up – penis won’t have sex – too lazy to stand up – Attribution to Adultzdir.Com
Fifty Shades of Grey – meaning – is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E. L. James. Set largely in Seattle, it is the first instalment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism (BDSM). – Attribution to Wikipedia.Org